Bring it on!

So after 3 years of dealing with constant, chronic hip pain that leaves me completely unable to move and on a cane on my bad days (although I really should use a wheelchair) I've finally decided to see a specialist :( I'm not happy that it has come to this. I've been seeing my ortho for over a year now. He sends me to the hospital every 3 months or so for a hip injection directly into my hip joint. I lay on this cold table with this giant machine over my body that I've been told is like a "moving xray". You see, they have to thread this very large catheter like needle directly into my hip joint and this guides them to where they need to be in real time. Pretty cool. I'm stuck with who knows how many needles to begin with. The burning pain that goes down my leg and into my crotch is enough for me to punch the doctor in his face. But I can't, so I lay there and cringe. Finally the burning goes away only to be filled with this very long needle catheter looking thing. Even though I'm "numb", I can feel that stupid thing going into my hip. I can feel it wiggling around. I can feel when they inject the 2 syringes full of meds. One is a steriod, the other an anesthetic to hopefully grant me some relief. I tell them I can feel it to which they ignore me and keep going.

As soon as they are done, I hobble out of there, in tears b/c of the pain. Not from the hip pain but from the shot. Now I'm not one to cry over pain, I never even felt a contraction while giving birth to my twins, didn't take any meds after my c-section with them, I made it through my brain surgery and neck surgery like a champ! I didn't even shed a tear when I had kidney stones so bad that it blocked and required emergency surgery not to mention laying in the hospital for 4 days fighting multiple infections that this caused but this pain will bring me to my knees in pure agony. Never in my life have I felt anything as painful as this. So I walk out of the hospital, waiting for my husband and kids to pick me up. As I get in the truck, still in tears, I look over at him and say "never again will I get that d*mn shot". And I swear, I will not.

So my ortho thinks I have this rare problem<--imagine that? There is only one, yes only ONE place in the US that does this surgery. Forntualy it's in my home state, about 4 hours away. YAY! But this place has only done 2,000, yes only 2,000 of these surgeries EVER. Great. I don't even have a clue as to what type of surgery will be done. I don't care at this point, I want this pain GONE or at least better then what it is. The shot only helps maybe 60%, enough I can walk without a cane but I limp and it hurts so bad still. I'm not even sure I can go through this surgery. Things I have read state "6 week recovery with intense physical therapy and 6 months before back to normal" WHAT! I can't do PT at any level, let alone intense! So this consult might just be that. "sorry we can't operate on you, you are destined for this pain and those horrid injections every 3 months for the rest of your life"

So I have a month to wait. I scheduled the apt just at the same time a HUGE reptile show is going on, something hubby and I have been wanting to go to for a long time. Might as well get 2 birds with one stone right?